Beautiful Creatures, Not So Much

Recently, I was watching an episode of Once Upon a Time, which meant I was doing a good impression of a potentially disturbed person by cursing at my television, pausing the DVR to hold my head in my hands, and striding around angrily at opportune moments when the characters were particularly stupid. There may even have been wild gesticulations.

What? Don't tell me you don't do this too. You don't? Oh. Well. Just me and maybe SRB then.

In the middle of the episode, ABC did a short preview of Beautiful Creatures, coming soon to a Valentine's Day near you. I perked up a bit as some (questionable) Southern accents rolled off the screen, along with pretty clothes and enthralling golden eyes. What was this? A film based on a contemporary urban fantasy set in the South? With witches? Score!

I seized my Kindle (Lucien II), downloaded Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl, and began reading with all haste!

Okay, that's an over-dramatization. I finished the OUAT episode first, and spent some time angrily munching buttered salt and cracked pepper popcorn while bitching about Cora. Then I'm pretty sure there were errands, writing, and cooking a ridiculously delicious chicken marsala. But by bedtime, I was reading Beautiful Creatures!

Unfortunately, it insulted its Southern setting on the very first page. (The setting I was so excited about!) I had hopes it would improve.

It didn't.

There are a couple of things you should know about this novel...

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